I am a mountain eater. I am the stuff of nightmares.
No one in Rogers Park cares about my Whole30 goals. No one is impressed. Here's some soup bones and you know what? Here's some neck bones, too. That'll be about four damn dollars. Go away.
I am doing the Whole30 so I can maaaayyyybe not be in pain 24/7. I'll try 10/4. As someone who loves nothing more than pasta and bread (and booze), this is no small feat. Therefore, I will conquer this with humor, long-windedness, and open mockery. Welcome.